take the pain away!

pernah gak ngebohongin perasaan demi orang yang lo sayang? gue? jujur aja gue sering. mungkin gue ketawa-tawa gak jelas kalo dikelas. mungkin gue senyum-senyum aja dirumah. tapi pas gue dikamar? lo gatau gue ngapain kan dikamar? gue dikamar keluarin semua unek-unek yang dilakuin temen-temen disekolah atau orang-orang dirumah. kadang nangis. kadang juga nulis gak jelas. kadang juga nge-post sesuatu di twitter atau blog. atau anything yang ngebuat gue gak sakit hati. haha semua gue lakuin buat nutupin rasa sakit hati gue yang orang-orang gak pernah tau dan gaakan pernah mau tau. itu gue lakuin karena gue sayang mereka. gue gak mau mereka tau apa yang gue rasain. apalagi orang-orang dirumah. paling gak bisa gue ngeliat mereka kecewa atau apapun itu yg mereka rasain gara-gara gue! haaaaaaaaaa itu satu hal yg paling menyakitkan deh kalo ngeliat orang rumah mukanya pada kelipet ish jujur kesel ngeliatnya. makannya gue suka senyum-senyum aja sama orang rumah supaya mereka agak enakkan gitu hatinya...................... mungkin mereka gak pernah tau kalo gue sebenernya byk masalah. tapi ya bodo amat gue juga gak mau nyakitin mereka kali. makannya gue gak pernah cerita. mereka harus ngurusin gue nyekolahin gue nyari duit buat gue. terus menurut lo gue harus nambahin masalah mereka? whahaha please deh. kasian bgt mereka ! mereka udah capek mau ditambah lagi. mungkin kata orang-orang kita harus cerita masalah kita ke mama kita. tapi gue gak mau cerita ke mama gue. mungkin menurut lo salah ya gue gak mau cerita. tapi mau diapain lagi! gue gak mau buat mama gue sedih denger cerita gue! lagian udah basi kali itu cerita buat apa diungkit lagi hahaha. okay. buat lo yang bener-bener sayang sama seseorang jangan pernah buat orang itu capek sama sifat lo yang masih menyemenye. kadang suatu perubahan dalam diri lo bisa buat orang yg lo sayang nyaman sama lo dan gaakan pernah ninggalin lo :) dan jangan pernah nyusahin orang yang lo sayang. karena, itu hal yang paling paling buat orang itu ilfeel sama lo. hahaha belajar dari pengalaman gue! ;) gue gaakan nyeritain pengalaman itu di blog karena ya gitu gue gak mau aja hehe.

Anastasia

long time no see

hello how are you? I miss blogging! you know that I'm too busy and too tired of this kind of sh*t gaaaah enough! now I'm single and I enjoy it. don't ask me why because its not my decision. thats enough ! I won't tell you all of this stories. it hurts me so bad.. no need to cry ;') there's another thing more important than this. its about my family. its about my super mom and my childish sister. they're sick and I feel so sad, lonely, and desperate. even sometimes they're bad but I do love them! no one can hurt them! NO ONE! even my father or my other member of family! they're lucky to have. I don't care if my ex having a new girlfriend. its okay I don't really care. even I still love him very much.. but its okay. I don't care if my friend leave me hurt me or talking about me. They're still my best. but I really care about my super family! no one can hurt them! I'll do anything for them. I don't know if they leave me or hurt me or talking about me or having a new family or forget me. Its just too hurt! you know that when my ex leave me, I just can't stop crying! what about if my family leave me? I CAN DIE ! :( i love my family, i love my friends, and i still love my ex. but my heart is taken of my family and no one can take it.

iloveyoupeople!

Anastasia